Content
1/4) Understanding Healthy vs. Unhealthy Anger
2/4) Building Self-Esteem and Managing Emotions
3/4) Navigating Interactions with Insecure People
4/4) Conclusion
1/4) Understanding Healthy vs. Unhealthy Anger
Healthy anger can be a constructive response to a toxic situation. For example, if someone is being toxic towards you, feeling anger can be a useful signal that you need to create distance or take space from that person. This type of anger helps you set boundaries and protect your well-being.
Unhealthy anger occurs when you continue to feel angry even after you have distanced yourself from the toxic person, causing you to go from external to internal anger. This internalized anger can become harmful, as it festers within you.
The ego of the people struggling with insecurity is prone to unhealthy anger. Starting arguments to make it about right and wrong in order to win. Winning allows them to choose how toxic they want to be in order to elevate their self worth and feel justified. Rudeness is a weak person's show of strength.
Managing Unhealthy Anger: When experiencing unhealthy anger, it is crucial to recognize that this often stems from insecurity. The higher the insecurity level, the harder it becomes to let go of the negative narratives your ego creates and increases the chances of that internal mind narrative reoccurring. These narratives can reinforce your anger and make it a part of your identity, which defines your behaviour .
Loss of Freedom: Persistent unhealthy anger can lead to a loss of personal freedom. When you are consumed by anger, your choices become limited to how angry you want to be and for how long. Recognizing this can help you regain control and work towards reducing your anger.
2/4) Building Self-Esteem and Managing Emotions
Understanding Anxiety as a Signal
Anxiety is your body’s way of communicating that the narratives and stories you’re engaging with are toxic—much like how your body reacts to toxic food by getting sick. There’s nothing inherently wrong with your body; it’s simply warning you to stop consuming harmful food. Anxiety serves a similar purpose, signalling your mind to stop consuming harmful thoughts that can make you insecure and react negatively to unrelated situations.
That is why getting frustrated with your anxiety is the same as getting annoyed at the at the car alarm instead of investigating what caused the alarm.
Rather than viewing anxiety as something to eliminate, consider it an ally—an alarm bell alerting you to toxic thoughts. By consistently rejecting these harmful stories/narratives over time with the help of your anxiety, your self-worth will improve, making your life lighter and more manageable.
This won’t solve all your life problems, but it will give you the extra capacity to handle the hardship of life without the added burden of toxic emotions weighing you down.
3/4) Navigating Interactions with Insecure People
Protecting Yourself
A lifeguard is trained to approach a drowning person with their foot out to create distance and urge them to calm down. If the person doesn’t calm down, the lifeguard faces two choices: let the person drown or both of them drown, being pulled down by their erratic behaviour.
Insecure people are like drowning individuals—if you get too close, their drama and toxic behaviour, fuelled by their low self-worth, can pull you down. It’s best to hope for their improvement, but recognize that there’s little you can do to help if they’re unwilling to grow through self-awareness. Focus on your own life and well-being, and leave them to their struggles.
4/4) Conclusion
Surround yourself with those who prioritize empathy, understanding, and connection rather than those trapped in ego-driven narratives centred around themselves. By fostering genuine human interactions, you can create a stronger, more stable foundation for yourself and those around you.
Mental clarity and emotional stability are not a one-time achievement but an ongoing practice. The more you find these patterns within, the more you I'll understand others, the stronger your foundation becomes.
Stay strong, stay human.
Credits:
Laws of Human Nature - Robert Greene
Rewire - Nicole Vignola
Never Broken - Jewel Kilcher
Ego is the Enemy - Ryan Holiday
The Power of Now - Eckhart Tolle
The Body Keeps the Score - Bessel Van Der Kolk
The Myth of Normal - Dr. Gabor Maté
The Chimp Paradox - Dr. Steve Peters